my M E M O R I E S

Saturday, January 20, 2007

look down
i tell myself to look down
look down
look through all the masquerades and illusions
look through the lies and fabrications
and find myself looking at an abyss of black
an abyss
where all my dreams float away into nothingness
where im neglected
everything is lost
im forgotten
nobody cares
nobody remembers
im just a figment of the past
im afraid
afraid that will happen
that the rope im holding on so tightly to
will just break
break
and i fall into the dark
and i forget myself
and i fail
and i cry but no tears will come
and i smile but no happiness exists
and i cry but there is no sadness

im afraid;
im holding on so hard now
im tugging my heart out
im praying that
i wont fall apart again,

i dont know what to do
i dont know what im doing
tell me its okay
tell me im being stupid
paranoid
its not enough

tears again.

when will this stop

when will my rope be mended again

when will i be hauled back up

when will i wake up;

?

Saturday, January 13, 2007

tell me,do i do anything or do i wait here.

what is happening,

why is everything in this area becoming so fucking shitty?

tears and tears and tears the whole week

me and romeo and juliet

cried cried cried

talked

shared tears

cried to sleep almost every single day

i hate it

why must you do this

im sick of it

i dont want to face it anymore

because its too unbearable

was sick this week

vomited fourtimes,had diarrhoea twice,
gastric too,bad headaches,food poisoning,fever and dizziness
all on thursday.

friday was terrible terrible gastric

and i think
poor romeo

noone believes her

just because its not a common fucking thing

they dont care

they give her stares and more stares

and they think shes lying

and all she can do is to bear it.

but even if those people are so ignorant,

im still there too,and our classmates are nice too

worry less.

and juliet

she and her *scotch tape problem

poor her

shes been crying like shit all week

i hope sp* freaking does something for her

dont cry anymore miss,

we re still there to support you.

and another addition

miss *ahmine ah

i love you

dont cry over that person anymore

and im sure the other bitch wont do anything to you anymore

because if she does i ll bite her for you and xy

and hopefully she ll be stricken
with the notion of
"once bitten twice shy"
(:

i ve been so depressed this week

everyone cried

i cried too

cried and cried and cried

dont know who the hell to trust anymore

dont know who is real or fake

i dont know

help us please.

rescue me.